An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction – they are not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way. Unlike celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, just like other sexual orientations. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or better; we just face a different set of needs and challenges than most sexual people do. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community in the needs and experiences often associated with sexuality including relationships, attraction, and arousal.
Asexuality is a growing subject of research in psychology, sexology, and other academic fields. While estimates for the asexual proportion of the population are limited and may vary, the most widely cited figure is that we are roughly 1% of the population.
Attraction
Many asexual people may experience forms of attraction that can be romantic, aesthetic, or sensual in nature but do not lead to a need to act out on that
attraction sexually. Instead, we may get fulfillment from relationships without sex, but based on other types of attraction. Romantic attraction is the desire to
be romantically involved with another person. Aesthetic attraction is appreciation for a person’s appearance. Sensual attraction is the desire to engage in sensual
(but not sexual) activities with a person, such as cuddling, hugging, or kissing. Asexual people who experience these other forms of attraction will often be
attracted to particular gender. These people may still identify as lesbian, gay, bi, or straight. The split attraction model
has led some people to identify separate sexual and romantic attractions. For example, a person who’s asexual but wants relationships with the opposite sex may
identify as a “heteroromantic asexual”. Most sexual people may not view their orientation that way, and may simply combine their sexual and romantic attractions
into one characteristic if they’re aligned. Asexual people often feel the need to specify both sexual and romantic attractions to make it clear what drives them
and what they’re seeking from other people.
Arousal
For some asexual people, arousal (sometimes interchanged with “libido”
in asexual dialogue) is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. This could include, but is not
limited to, arousal from hormone variation in a person’s menstrual cycle, or erections at certain times of the day. Some may occasionally masturbate, but feel no
desire for partnered sex. Other asexual people may experience little or no arousal, often called non-libidoist
asexuals. Both types are equally valid in identifying as asexual, as sexual orientation is about attraction and desire towards other people, rather than strictly
physiological reactions.
Because we don’t have an intrinsic need for sex, asexual people generally do not see a lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected, and if they do have a
libido or experience arousal, they do not feel needs are unmet by a lack of sexual activity.
It is important to note that asexuality is different from medical conditions such as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). HSDD is listed in the DSM-V, while
asexuality is not. In cases of HSDD, there are underlying sexual needs that are not being met, to the point of personal distress. If not experiencing arousal or
suddenly losing interest in sex is distressing, it is advisable to discuss this with a medical professional to get a diagnosis.